So, I weighed in today.
Actually I weigh myself more or less 3/4 times a day, but whatever. I lost 2 pounds- I am now 108.9.
Heaven knows how. I haven't been going to the gym in a month, haven't gone running and the only activity that had a physical quality to it has been walking the dog for an hour everyday.
I have been eating the usual safe stuff:
tuna canned in water
soy milk (recently discovered the chocolate one, sooo good and sooo many useless calories on one box)
oh, and LOTS of cinnamon everywhere (you name it and I've put cinnamon on it)
candies (ok, I am a kid and sometimes I like my candies. I know it's a bad idea but I can't resist them)
That's pretty much what I have in my house food wise. It's kinda sad when someone happens (quite rarely indeed) to come to my house and asks for food. I kinda really have nothing to prepare a decent meal with, except the pasta in the cabinet. That shall remain uncooked until guest's request.
But I feel comfortable without the carbs. I usually had a lot of them. I mean, a biscuit here, a cracker there, a loaf of bread and so forth.
But last month I ran out of these things and decided not to buy them again and, surprisingly I now don't miss them. Really, it's like a detox process. I can live without that. It's not necessary. And I have also managed not to binge in a proper way during this month (or actually it's more than one month, maybe one and a half).
The last binge I remember was on Monday, I got mad at the boyfriend (I have to find a name for him, cos it's way too generic and 90s) and binged on three chocolates (50x3) and a yogurt (145). Coulda been worse.
Before that I don't even remember. The truth is that now, when I am alone I cannot seem to force myself to eat what is not included in my previous list. I usually indulged when I was with other people, kinda like this-is-a-social-occasion-you-can-do-it-and-enjoy-it, but right now I am always keeping on the safe side. We go for a pizza, I have a salad.
And when I am alone and have to eat something for some reason, it's a big deal. I have been craving a pizza for awhile (as you might remember). And have gone out eating with friends a few time but, after a silent struggle, have always ordered the salad.
The only person I feel like can convince me, that can allow me to have something else is the boyfriend.
I shall discuss this matter in the next post, because there's a lot to talk about there.
In other news, here is hot as hell and sticky as shit, so I am quite displeased with the day. Right now I am laying on my bed, dog under my legs, typing the evening away.
And since I have been drinking a lot yesterday and the day before, I kinda need a night alone sober. I really hate people and social occasions. Like I am supposed to be interesting or interested or cute and funny. Recently I am depressed, useless and have little interest in making myself look hot when I think I am not. But I cannot resist an invitation, so I usually say yes, apart from tonite. That I remain alone and sober, deciding what to watch on TV.
Also, today was a 550 cal day. Way too much. But yesterday had no food, except for one yogurt around 6. But I don't even know why I bother to count calories: they always could've been less.